red roses for me

Butterflies & Buses

(from Hate Songs)

Every morning I see them, a couple of minutes after I get on the bus I'm thrown into the familiar puzzle of why?? What are they for?? I'm talking about big metal butterflies that an increasing number of Portchester residents have affixed to the front of their houses. Is this commonplace around the country? Or is it something unique to here? Do they serve some other purpose? Is it like the Masons and this alerts other pretend butterfly owners that a kindred spirit lives within? Is it a signal to aliens? Answers on a postcard please.

I love buses, maybe the fact I've never learnt to drive influences this but then again you just can't beat the bus to calm your nerves after another day of dealing with the record buying populace of Portsmouth, basically it's a chill out room on wheels with the wibbly ambient music. The buses in Portsmouth are ace because they're really small so however hard people try the I WANT A DOUBLE SEAT mentality it just doesn't work & everyone's jammed in together, a microcosm of society wedged together in something not much bigger than a milk float.

I guess I'm really nosey as well so for an hour a day you intrude into 19 other people's lives, see how they tick, what they read, listen to on their crappy walkman music & watch small children try & push each other off the seats. You can play great games on the bus such as "Blind Bus Date" where you match people up, although after years of extensive bus passenger research it has to be said there is usually a 80% women, 20% men split with OAP's & kids making up the majority of passengers but never mind! The other classic game is, if for some unknown reason your bus crashed into a snow capped mountain, I don't know why- maybe the driver was distracted by large fake butterflies, which of the passengers would you save & which would make up the menu for the next two months. Y'see hours of fun all for the price of a 60p single ticket.

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